not what meets the eye
by bunsofcheese
Summary: katniss and her family move from their home haunted with memories and search for a new start in a small town in North Carolina. Thats where she meets her new neighbor, peeta, who seems to be keeping a secret. She just can't quite figure it out. AU. Modern day.
1. Chapter 1

okayso. hi. hello, haha. i am a little nervous posting. this is the second story i have posted on ffnet. i did not and will not be finishing the forst story i put on here because i was unaware of what i was doing and my story really didnt have a plot. but i hope you enjoy this new story.

DISCLAIMER: i do not own the hunger games or its characters.

* * *

"So. This is where we are going to be living from now on?" I turn to my mom for an answer. She just looks at me with a cautious smile on her face and gives me a small nod. I look at the beautiful beach house surrounded by trees in front of me and sigh. _Well at least Prim is excited._ I turn to prim to look at her face. Surprise, surprise. There is a painful looking grin embedded in her face.

I bend down to give her a kiss on her forehead and smile at her. She doesn't need to know how unhappy I am about this. We moved to North Carolina for a new start in a new place. Why? Because my mom couldn't bear to live in the same house my dad used to. My dad died in a car accident 2 years ago and it crushed my mom. Her kids too, but she was too worried about herself. After he died all she would do is sleep in her room and cry in the dark. I resented her for it. She abandoned her kids when they needed her most. I am trying to mend my relationship with her this year as she is trying to mend this family.

I walk into the house and my eyes go wide, how we could afford this house? Not sure. I mean, we have a good amount of money but it's still breathtaking. It's a two story typical North carilina beach house. Bed rooms with balconies that open to the beautiful, infinite ocean. Open bathrooms with a vintage flair to it. Actually, the entire house has an old vintage flair to it. The kitchen, rooms, bathrooms, porch, and family room. It has a certain warmth and coziness to it.

As I start walking out of one of the bedrooms; I look up and notice that there is an attic. Curiosity takes over and I open the door then pull down the stairs. When I crawl up, I look around and immediately fall in love. The walls and floor are wood panels and there is a large window in the front of the room. It's simple but holds this calming aura. I walk up to the window and feel this sudden urge to climb out onto the roof. So I do.

When I climb out the ocean breeze instantly hits me. I get onto the roof and start to stand. As I do I raise my arms up and take a deep breath.

"Ahhh… I'm not sure you should be doing that…" this voice startles me out of my calm state so when I search for the voice I lose my footing and fall on my butt.

"Oh dear lord, I'm so sorry!" he has a slight English accent, its endearing. I stand up and wipe my butt to get the dust and dirt off and look around. Finally I am met with bold blue eyes filled with concern. I stare directly into his eyes for a moment too long and clear my throat.

"No, its fine. I-I'm fine." I blow out a gust of air and try to ignore the fact that my face is burning. "Well I do believe I at least deserve to know your name"

He blushes and grins shyly. Why is he blushing? I'm the one who fell on my butt.

"Hi, I'm Peeta. Your new neighbor, I suppose. And you are…" he trails off, waiting for me to complete his sentence.

"…Katniss…my name is Katniss." I look up to the ocean again and take a deep breath.

"That is a lovely name…katniss." The way he says my name, with his British accent, is so smooth and soft.

"Umm…how about I come down. It might be easier to umm introduce myself, I suppose." He looks up to meet my eyes and nods.

As I climb back into my room I take a deep breath and look down at myself. I look presentable enough. I'm wearing an over-sized army green jacket, black tee, high-waisted shorts, over the knee tights and black combat boots. I'm not sure why I'm so 'dressy' for a moving day but hey.

I climb down the attic stairs so fast not knowing that prim would be right below me and I almost knock her over. She grunts and shrieks a bit.

"Whoa, slow down speedster. Where are you going so fast?" she chuckles a little, rubbing her head were my foot skimmed.

"Oh god, sorry prim. I'm going downstairs to meet our new neighbor… or our new neighbor's son, that is. Wanna' come?" she taps her lip for a second and shrugs.

"Is he cute?" she gives a suggestive smile and nudges my shoulder. I laugh.

"Well I only saw him for a couple short seconds and I was on the roof so I dunno'." I smile "let's go find out."

When we walk outside we see him sitting on our porch swing whistling a familiar song. His golden curls shine in the sunset light.

"Breezeblocks?" I question the song he is whistling. He looks at me wide eyed, surprised by both my voice and probably the fact that I knew the song he was whistling. Alt-j, the, band that sing breezeblocks, isn't very known.

"Oh! Yeah-… you familiar with alt-j?" I nod.

"Well, nice to properly meet you, Katniss." He looks to prim and smiles warmly. "And you are?"

"I'm prim, Katniss' little sister." "Well hello, prim. Lovely meeting you."

"Two questions...are you British? And why'd you move here?" she giggles a little. I slap her shoulder lightly. She sticks her tongue out and I roll my eyes trying to keep the smile from forming.  
"No, it's okay katniss. I was born in Britain where my family owned a bakery. I was only there for 6 years of my life. It's a beautiful place to visit but the weather is terrible. Always gloomy, it tends to affect your mood so we moved to California for awhile and i…" he hesitates, Then shakes his head. "Then we moved here, in North Carolina, last year for… new scenery. California was a bit too much. My family wanted to live in a private small town so here I am." He smirks slightly.

"Prim, katniss! What're you doing out there? - oh." She looks at peeta confused. He immediately stands up and wraps her hand in his and shakes softly.

"Hello ms…?"

"Everdeen."

" ." he says. He gives my mother a soft smile.

"I'm assuming you are our new neighbor?"

"Yes as a matter of fact. I am" he grins. He looks back at me and wiggles his brows. I furrow my eyebrows and smile a little, shaking my head.

"Is your family here?"

"Yes, my father and siblings are here."

"Your mother?" she questions. His face hardens slightly at the mention of his mother. Odd.

"No longer in the picture." he gives her a tight smile at which I'm taken aback. "Would you like to meet my family? We knew we had movers so we made some goods. Bakers instinct, we'd love if you came in" he laughs, no longer tense.

She smiles at him and nods softly. She walks over to the house with prim and I see her knock. I turn away to look at peeta.

"So, what's California like?" I ask. He visibly tenses.

"o-oh…umm. It's crowded. Full of talent and culture. It's a beautiful place if you appreciate the beautiful things but then it begins to be…too much. Where did you live before here?" he changes the subject.

"Well, I lived in a small town in Maine for awhile. It's nice there. Sunny weather, interesting people, culture. It's nice. My mother was a surgeon and ended up getting a great job offer here."

"Oh, wow. Is that why you guys moved here?"

"Oumm…no. the year my mother got a job offer my father got in a car accident and died…we moved…Because-"_everything started to get foggy. Then a car cleared in my vision. It was on fire. i can hear bystanders' cry for help. Cries of pain. I can smell the burning rubber…the blood. I can feel the smoke burning my eyes-_

"Katniss!" I look up to peeta who is gripping my face and looking at me with an intense look of worry. I squeeze my eyes shut for a second. _Not now_. I pull my head gently out of his hands.

"Oh sorry, did I not finish what I was saying? We moved because our old house...Was uhh… haunted with too many memories of my dad. So mom took the job offer and here we are…" he's looking at me with wide eyes. Great, I already ruined something that hasn't even started with my craziness.

I look away, uncomfortable under his intense stare.

"Katniss…what was that?" he asks cautiously.

"Umm…hmmm. I think this is a conversation for another day?" it ends as a question. Not knowing whether or not he'll still want to see me after my episode.

He hesitates but lets it go. I see prim running out of the house and towards peeta and I.

"KATNISS! WE CAN'T MISS THE NEW EPISODE OF VAMPIRE DIARIES. HELLO!" I laugh heartily. Prim have an obsession with a man named Damon on a show called the vampire diaries. He is sexy, though.

"Well…I guess this means that I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yup, most definitely. It was a pleasure meeting you and making you fall on your butt. Maybe I can repay you for that by showing you some of the secret places I have progressively found throughout the year." He sounds hopeful which surprises me.

"Yes, of course. I'd love to." He smiles.

"Okay, then tomorrow I will start with two places and then maybe I could introduce you to my friends? It always helps to know a couple people in town. I even know someone who reminds me a little of prim so I can introduce them. She's a sweetheart, don't worry." I'm stunned by his kindness and thoughtfulness.

"Wow…Thank you so much. I don't even know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Good night, peeta"

"Sweet dreams, katniss." I smile and we both stand from the porch swing. Prim runs past us into the house to start setting up the TV in the barely furnished living room. I laugh at her eagerness.

I watch peeta walk to his house and once I see him reach the door, I walk into our house and close the door.

"Where's mo-"I start to ask right when mom walks in.

"Sorry for taking so long, girls…" she looks around the house." We are lucky this house came already furnished or else we wouldn't even have a couch to sit on" she laughs a little when she sees that prim put the flat screen on the floor. "I suppose it's a good thing I also called in for cable and internet beforehand." I share a small smile for her and prim nods gratefully.

I look to my mom then prim and then the house and I can't help but feel this gaping hole in my heart. Dad should be here. Starting a new life with his family. Sitting with a cup of tea in his hand watching the waves ripple. Laughing. Living.

"katniss?" I feel prim's delicate hand touch my cheek. Its then that I realize she is wiping tears I hadn't even noticed were there.

"I thought it was getting better." Prim says. It's almost comical how quickly she goes from being a regular 15 year old to a concerned 35 year old.

I look over to mom and notice a tinge of guilt in her face.

"No, no. I'm fine prim. The medication is working." I lie "I was thinking how much dad would love it here. Especially the forests." I give my most convincing smile. "Let's go watch vampire diaries, shall we?"

Prim's mood changes within seconds and she grins. "Let's change into our PJs first." I nod and so does mom.

Prim speeds up the stairs and before I can do the same, my mom pulls me into a semi awkward hug which is strangely comforting. But it ends just as fast as it began.

She just gives me a loving smile and nods.

But this isn't a moment to be quiet. "We'll try this summer mom. Me and you. I want to be as whole as this family can get. I'm over the tension. I know why you did what you did, though I don't understand. But I'm willing to look over those last months that brought out the worst in us. This summer will be different." I see a tear run down her cheek. "Don't cry" I say with a certain tenderness that I don't think I have ever used with her.

I turn around and run up the stairs to open up the attic. Once I open the loud attic door I climb up the steps and open my luggage. I pull off over my head and wiggle out of my shorts then pull on some sweats and a baggy shirt. It's not until I turn around and see peeta staring at me with wide eyes and an open mouth that I realize 1) my window was still open from this morning and 2) peeta sleeps n the attic too and in right across from me. I completely freeze. We stare at each other for a few awkward seconds.

Then he breaks the silence. " I guess I owe you an ice cream now, too. Double- no. triple scoops." And he rubs the back of his neck. I ignore my warming face and start a laughing fit that lasts about 3 minutes.

"Yes. You do."


	2. Chapter 2

I wake up on my mattress on the floor and look around. I really need to fix this place up soon; it's sort of creepy if I'm honest. I look at the rising sun's light shining on the wood paneled walls. I can see the dust flying around, almost sparkling in the sun. It's a very peaceful way to wake up.

I sit up and cat stretch; instantly relieving my back pain. I'm supposed to be meeting up with peeta in his front yard somewhere around 12:00, I'm guessing considering he said that he'd see me in the afternoon. I'm excited, to be honest. I never really bothered to have many friends, it wasn't very important to me. Back home I used to have two friends, Thomas and Delly. But then after my father died and mother stopped living, burying herself into work, and I was basically raising prim; it was then that I realized that I was pretty much alone. I was left by myself.

I realize now how important friends are, and family. I no longer want to be that depressive girl two years ago that only got to cry during the night because she was the only strong figure in prim's life and needed to be strong. This is exactly why this summer will be different. Because I know I need to try.

I get up and look at my phone for the time. Its only 10:15.

I strip myself of my PJs and pull on a dark green sports bra and some tight black spandex shorts, and then I put on some running shoes and tie them.

I run downstairs to see prim eating cereal and mother drinking some tea.

"Good morning, kitty." Prim smirks. I scowl playfully and steal a big bite of her cheerios.

"Hey!"She yells, laughing. "Get your own cheerios." I stick my tongue out at her.

"Morning, mom. I was thinking about running on the beach for an hour or something. I'll see you later okay?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll see you in awhile. –oh, I almost forgot. Peeta came over awhile ago asking if he could take you out sightseeing today. He told me to tell you to meet him out front at 11:30."

"Alright, thanks." I kiss prim on the forehead, grab my iPod and run out the door. "Bye!"

….

I have always loved the outdoors. The air is so fresh and everything is so calm. The colors are so extravagant and the natural noises are soothing. So living in front of the beach has got to be the best thing in the entire world.

My dad use to sneak me out into the woods because mother hated when we went. He would always take me to this lake he found when he got lost one day. I sigh out loud. I really miss him. I wish I could tell him that I'm sorry.

I shake my head and continue running. I change my music to Home by Daughter and start singing. I may be singing really loud but I can't tell with the music being so loud.

"_I was drunk again, causing accidents. Oh, you're not a friend, you're nothing. I think I should be a little more confident. In myself, in my skin…" _I keep singing for a while, enjoying the music and scenery. That is until peeta decides to place a hand over my shoulder and scare the shit out of me. next thing I know I am on the floor again.

"Okay, I'm taking this whole 'sweeping you off your feet' thing to a whole new level. I'm so sorry, are you okay?" his words are tight and his voice cracks because he's trying to contain his laughter. But he gives out and laughter bubbles out of him. _Wait_. Did he say he was trying to sweet me off my feet?

He sits down beside me and looks at me. All of me. Its then that I realize I'm only only in a sports bra and tight little shorts. His face goes red and he looks away towards the ocean.

"Good morning, peeta." my face heats up.

"Good morning katniss."

"So. What brings you to the beach?" I ask. Curious as to why he's on the beach in very non-beachy clothing. That's when I think about the time.

"Oh god am I late?" he only smiles shyly. Oh no, now I feel bad. How had time slipped by so fast?

"Its fine, don't worry, Kat. I was wondering if we could go to book store slash cafe first. I bet you're hot. We can cool off there" I nod; a little surprised he gave me a nickname. I like it, though. Kat.

"Alright, well let's go now." I hop up and stick my hand out to help him up. He blushes and looks down.

"Umm…Kat , shouldn't you change first?" he chuckles. I roll my eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. Smart ass. Let's go to my house first then."

…**.**

"Do you want to wait down here or come with me upstairs?" the house is quiet so im guessing mom and prim went somewhere.

"upstairs-… only if it's okay with you, of course…" he rubs the back of his neck and flicks his eyes to me.

I laugh shortly. "Yes its fine, come on." I grab his arm and pull him up the stairs. "so what's the plan for today?" I say as I try to open the attic door. "Well" he says, pushing me aside softly. He opens the door and pulls down the ladder. "I was thinking- after you" he gestures for me to go first. "-that maybe we could go get a book or something first, then I wanted to take you to the ice cream parlor to get you your ice cream." I'm listening while I grab some clothes and walk over to my tan dressing screen and start putting on my clothes. I put on an over-sized, grey and white ombre muscle shirt that ends mid-thigh with the sides cut down to my hip then some black tights under fishnets. I walk out from behind my dressing screen and he sits on my mattress just gaping at me with a red face.

I smirk. "Is that all we are doing?" he just shakes his head slightly as if to clear his thoughts.

"No, after ice cream we will go to one of my favorite secret spots then I was thinking somewhere around 8:30 we could meet up with my friends so we can do something fun. I don't think you have ever done this because there aren't places like this anymore. It's basically the last one. So get excited." He smiles.

"Now, let's go slow poke. We have a schedule to follow and you are making us late." He sticks his tongue out at me.

"Immature bastard." I murmur and chuckle. "Okay, on sec." I walk over to my black combat boots and slip them on my feet. "Let's go."

We climb down the ladder and run down the stairs. "One second, I've got to grab something." I run over to the couch and grab my makeup bag. "Okay." I follow him out the door and lock up. When we walk up to his car, I stop in my tracks. _Are you fucking kidding me? _He has a fucking burgundy 1967 convertible mustang. My dream car. When I look at him awestruck; I see he has a look of worry or fear or both, though I'm not sure why…

"I'm so jealous. This is my fucking dream car. How-… wow." I run my hand along the hood of the car. The entire interior of the car is a light tan color. It's gorgeous.

"Well, jump in then." I open the passenger seat door and sit in the authentic leather seats. I look at him and shake my head. This guy is ridiculous.

He starts the engine and we drive. "How long is the ride going to be?" I ask. "Only about 15 minutes, why?" I pull down the sun shade and open the mirror. I open my makeup bag and start putting on a thin line of eye liner and wing it slightly at the ends. Then I put on several coats of mascara. "So I could do that" he laughs and shakes his head; disbelieving. Then he says something along the lines of 'so glad I'm a dude' under his breath. I open his glove compartment to put my make up in but am surprised when a bunch of papers fall out. "Oh…" I say, surprised. "Oh my god, I'm sorry." I lean over to pick them up and when I gather them up peeta pulls them out of my hands fast. But not before I see the papers for a quick second. I swear they looked like-

"No, no. It's fine kat. Don't worry." He shoves the papers under his seat. Humph. He looks at my confused expression and sucks air so fast he starts choking. "Don't die on me, okay?" I start laughing.

"Thanks for the advice, sweetheart." He says sarcastically and I roll my eyes jokingly.

The next 10 minutes of the ride are peaceful with Bombay bicycle club playing in the background softly. I start singing along to the parts I'm more familiar with.

"You have a really beautiful voice." I blush and look at my hands in my lap. "Thank you."

"No, I'm serious, Kat. You have a really unique voice." I laugh out of nerves and look out the window. I see the trees passing by then I see a car. _Then everything stops. I'm walking towards the car. Tears spring to my eyes from both the gas coming from the car and the sight inside the car. Blood everywhere. A limp body covered in blood. I raise my hand about to pull the the face back when I hear someone calling my name. "katniss" _

"Katniss!" I jump. And then relax. _It was just in my head. _I look over to peeta. he looks scared.

"katniss, I know you said you'd talk to me about it another day but-… I was scared. You were just sitting there…paralyzed-"

"I'm a freak, I know." I prop my chin in my hand and look out the window again. I knew he'd think I was weird.

"No. you are not. I don't think you are… Please." He looks at me intently then faces the road again.

"At the coffee shop slash book store-"I smile softly, describing the place the only way I know how. "-I'll tell you what just happened." Still looking at the road; he nods.

When we finally arrive, he hops out of the car and runs over to my side so he can open my door. I laugh and do a curtsey. "Why thank you." He shakes his head and leads me to this big brick wall with a small door. Now, any other average person would probably dismiss this wall with a door but people like peeta and I… we would never miss the chance to see for ourselves.

When I walk in I'm so awestruck that I stop in my tracks. The place is fucking beautiful. It really is just a 'café slash book store'. Its small but can still fill the room with a bunch of people without it feeling suffocating. There are several book shelves in the back of the room but the cool part is that the walls all around the room are filled with books as well. There are random tables and chair that a mix matched and even some couches. There is this little stage near the back of the room. In the front, there is a couple of people behind a counter making drinks for people and checking out books for people.

It's warm and inviting.

"Hey, peeta!" a cute girl calls from behind the counter. I see him running over to give her a hug and I feel something growing inside of me.

Jealousy.

"Kat, this is Madgy padgy-" he's interrupted by 'madgy padgy'. "Don't listen to him." She sticks out her hand and I shake it. "Hello, my names Madge. I'm one of peeta's friends. And you are?" she gives me a warm smile. "I'm katniss. I just moved here yesterday and peeta's my neighbor,"

"ahhh… well, welcome to north Carolina katniss." I smile at her.

"Hey katniss…do you...do you wanna go sing something with me up there?" he asks nervously. I wring my hands and bite my lip.

"I don't know peeta. I don't sing in front of people… I-…" "Come on Kat, you'll be with me. You sang in the car. That must mean you're comfortable with me so just look at me.

"I didn't even know you could sing peeta" Madge says behind us. I laugh. "Fine…I'll go. But on one condition, you have to get me a triple scoop of chocolate chip mint ice cream. Deal?" I smirk and stick out my hand. He spits in his hand and before I can protest, takes my hand in his and shakes it.

"eww."

….

"I can't believe you're really making me do this."

"I'm not making you do anything. We made a deal. And besides, you know the song and you have a unique voice… can't get much better than that. Just play the uke like you said you would and ill play the guitar, okay?" he seemed slightly nervous, but not for me it's for himself. "Are you getting nervous, bread boy?"I say, referring to his bakery days. I look at madge and see her nervous look casted towards peeta.

"No it's not that…let's just go a see what happens." Im confused

"What do you mean see what happens? What might happen peeta?" I ask completely lost.

"Its okay peeta, I'm sure they won't know." Madge whispers in a comforting voice.

"Know what!?" I almost yell. What the hell is going on?

"Wait, you haven't told her?" she whispers so I can't hear. But I do. She looks mad. And I probably look confused.

"No, Madge. Another time." He looks at her pleadingly. She sighs. . .confused.

"Okay katniss, let's go." I let it go for now but I will ask soon. We walk up on the stage type thing and grab the instruments we need from this stand where they allow you to borrow instruments. I walk up on the stage and just stand there in front of the microphone. I look to peeta, completely freaked out.

He whispers to me. "one, two, three…" and we start playing our version of breezeblocks, which is much slower than the original.

_She may contain the urge to run away  
But hold her down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks  
Citrezene your fever's gripped me again  
Never kisses all you ever send are full stops, la la la la__  
_

When he starts singing my breath catches in my throat. _Holy shit his voice is sexy. _

___Do you know where the wilds things go  
They go along to take your honey,la la la la  
Break down now weep build up breakfast now  
Let's eat my love my love love love, la la la la_

Muscle to muscle and toe to toe  
The fear has gripped me but here I go  
My heart sinks as I jump up  
Your hand grips hand as my eyes shut  
Ahhh ahhh ahhh ah ah, ahhh ahhh ahhh ah ah

Do you know where the wild things go  
They go along to take your honey, la la la la  
Break down let's sleep build up breakfast now  
Let's eat my love my love love love, la la la la

She bruises coughs she splutters pistol shots  
But hold her down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks  
She's morphine queen of my vaccine my love my love love love, la la la la

Muscle to muscle and toe to toe  
The fear has gripped me but here I go  
My heart sinks as I jump up  
Your hand grips hand as my eyes shut  
And ahhh ahhh ahhh ah ah, ahhh ahhh ahhh ah ah  
Ahhh ahhh ahhh ah ah, ahhh ahhh ahhh ah ah

She may contain the urge to runaway  
But hold her down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks  
Germaline disinfect the scene my love my love love love  
But please don't go I love you so my lovely  
Please don't go, please don't go, I love you so, I love you so  
Please don't go, please don't go, I love you so, I love you so  
Please break my heart, hey

Please don't go, please don't go, I love you so, I love you so  
Please don't go, please don't go, I love you so, I love you so  
Please break my heart, ah ha

Please don't go, I'll eat you whole  
I love you so, I love you, so I love you so  
Please don't go I'll eat you whole  
I love you so, I love you so, I love you so, I love you so

When we stop playing everyone claps and I almost cry out of relief that it's done. When I look to peeta; he looks nervous. But once he walks off the stage his frown goes away.

"Holy shit…you two are… pretty amazing." Her eyes are wide with amazement. I shrink back and look down. Madge senses my great discomfort with complements so she stops and for that I'm grateful.

"Come on, katniss. Let's go look for books. And then maybe we can discuss what happened in the car over a quick cup of tea." He looks hopeful. I don't know why he wants to know so badly. I just have issues, and it's obvious.

"okay." I reply shortly. I'm not mad or anything. Maybe slightly annoyed he wants to know so badly.

I walk over to the book shelves and he follows. Its only takes us around 15 minutes to find a book we both like and we check it out along with getting some green tea. Once he pays for everything, which I yelled at him for after arguing that I would pay for my own things, we bid Madge goodbye. She has this weird smile on her face as she watches mine and peeta's interactions which I find slightly odd.

"So…" he says. I smile tightly. "So…" I say.

"The car…" my smile loosens and turns genuine. "The car…"

He laughs. "katniss, I'm being serious." I nod and look down.

"Back there in the car was one of my 'hallucinations' if you will. After my father died he took a piece of mom with him. The first year he died; she was in a constant state of depression. She would just sleep and cry in her room. She never spoke or ate. We basically had to force feed her. We didn't tell anyone because we couldn't, unless we wanted to be sent to an orphanage. I could never do that to prim. I love her way to much too just…leave. Her father and mother already did and I could… I could never…I wished I could but…" I will the tears to never fall but it's useless. A tear runs down my cheek and peeta leans over the table to rub it away.

"Anyways. We used the money she made from her previous job as a surgeon to pay for food and the bills. We got along fine but I still had a world on my shoulders. I was so scared and stressed all the time. The worst part for me was that while mom was grieving, we had to survive. We didn't have time to grieve. We had to suck it up and just keep going. I would cry at night because that was the only time I allowed myself to cry. Then when mom came back to the real world she started working again. And she worked and worked and worked. She was avoiding us. But then one day prim was done being positive and hopeful and started sobbing in front of mom say how much she missed her and daddy and how she couldn't take it anymore. She told mom that she was killing me. I hadn't realized how bad I was being affected over the year. Until it was year two of dad being gone. I finally had time to grieve and relax. But once I started to grieve everything came back to me and I had nothing to avoid it and bury it down. All the terrible things I had said to him before he left that house…before he died… We were arguing about about something so mundane… I had said things I didn't mean… after I had time to think about everything I became my mother. I couldn't get out of bed and I was always crying. It lasted for weeks at a time. Then I started getting hallucinations about the accident and I would hear these voices telling me it was my fault. I would hurt myself and drink when I could. My grades went downhill and they didn't know what to do. I was lucky I even passed the grade. It was then that my mother realized that everything that happened was infact killing me. She got me on some medication and…yeah." I breathe in deep and exhale. I can't believe I just said all of that, I only met him yesterday. But it was like once I started I couldn't stop.

"Let's go get some ice cream." He jumps up from his chair and grabs my hand and pulls me outside.

…..

"That was probably the most amazing ice cream I have ever had." I do this giddy jump that I regret shortly after. He laughs at me.

"So. You having fun so far?" I nod enthusiastically. "You are single-handedly the best tour guide ever" I say.

"Well it's about to get better. Jump in the car and put this on." He hands me a blindfold and I give him a curious look."

"so I'm guessing this is the part where you blind fold me and charm me into going with you to some secluded area where you'll reveal your true form , which is a professional serial killer slash psychopathic murderer." I say in a suggestive tone as I put the blindfold on. He chuckles.

"Yes… and no." I smile.

It's a thirty minute drive, filled with soft acoustic music playing, to his secret spot. Once we arrive; he tells me to keep the blindfold on. He holds my hand and guides me to his spot. While I should be worrying about where he is taking me, all I can think about are his strong, warm hands holding mine and how much I enjoy his touch.

"annndd weee arreee here." As he finishes his sentence, he pulls the blind fold off. I'm speechless once I see my surroundings. He's taken me to small lake with a water fall in the middle of a forest. And it's the perfect time of day too because the sun is setting and the sky is turning different colors.

Peeta interrupts my thoughts. "See the sky? See that light orange melting and blending with pink. That's my favorite color. Right there, that soft orange." I look up, memorized by the colors.

"My favorite color is forest green." I say softly. I feel that if I spoke any louder the skies' color and the lake and the forest will run and hide. I want to enjoy this.

He walks us to the side of the waterfall; water droplets littering my hair and sticking to my skin. He says to follow him. I don't know what I was expecting but I sure as hell wasn't expecting him to jump through the thin waterfall. That's some Pocahontas shit he just pulled. While he just jumped through the waterfall; I find a small entering where I could meet with peeta but also get a little less wet. When I walk through the entering I am greeted by a beautiful cave and peeta leaning against the wall watching the waterfall. I walk over to him and sit beside him, enjoying the way the water blends the trees and the skies' colors together.

"I want to tell you about my mother… you told me something deep so I will too." He says quietly. As if not to disturb .

"My father and mother never loved each other but their parents forced them to be together. I don't remember the whole story but I know that there was a contract their parents had made saying that my parents would have to get married. They were together for so long that they began to think they did love eachother. But it was all just a lie. A lie they forced into their head to make their hell a little less…terrible. My father was loyal to my mother. Was kind and got her presents. And at first, when she believed they did love eachother, she was loyal and kind as well. But after 2 kid, she realized she didn't love him. But they already had a strong bind and she couldn't pull herself free. She was stuck with a husband she didn't love a two kids who only reminded her of her pressured life. Then they had me and she snapped. She turned into this monster. She would hit me and my brothers when father wasn't there and take out her anger and pain and frustration on us. We always had bruises and cuts under our clothes. She would always tell us we were mistakes and that we were useless and that she hated us. That we ruined her life. This went for the six years that I lived in Britain and father never had a clue. He was oblivious to the world of pain she brought us. Physically, emotionally and mentally. Then one day something made her snap even more so she beat me within an inch of my life. That's how dad had to find out. He found me lying limp on the floor of the bakery; blood surrounding me. They took me to the hospital and I survived-"I was basically sobbing at that point but cracked a joke. "Oh, good to know I'm not that crazy and that I'm not talking to a ghost." He laughed then finishes his story. "My father divorced her then we moved to california. I did some things there then we moved here." I notice how he is always so vague about starting to get nervous as to why…

"Well, it seems we both have really fucked up pasts." We smile at eachother for a second. I take in his lush blond locks, his full sculptured lips, his bold blue eyes, the freckles that dust his nose, the way the left side of his lips raise higher than the right when he smiles. How could this beautiful boy be hated by his own mother?

Without warning he moves in and gives me a big nice hug. I run my fingers through his hair, trying to comfort him through actions. He runs his hand up and down my back and I sink into his touch. We hug for awhile and let go too soon. He tells me we should probably start heading to our next stop.

…

Okay. We are her but I would like to warn you about my friends. They are a bit…ridiculous." His laugh comes out more like a giggle and I smile. That was fucking adorable. "Eh, it's okay. I'm actually really excited to meet your friends." When I look at our destination; all I see are a bunch of people in an open field with a couple of grandfather trees with moss hanging down from them.

He comes around and opens my door. Then he goes to his trunk and takes out a big blanket.

"It might get cold" is all he says. Then he grabs my hand and pulls me through the crowd of people and to his group of friends. That's when I spot Madge. "Hi, katniss!" Madge yells. Then she runs over to peeta and I and gives us hugs. I wasn't expecting her to give me a hug but I reciprocated because I honestly wasn't bothered by it at all. Everyone that was in the bundle friends follows suit giving peeta and I hugs even though I didn't even know them. I was so overwhelmed with kindness. Within peeta's group of friends; I met gale, who is dating Madge. He met peeta back in california and moved with his family over her in north Carolina so he could be with his best friend. It's amazing how he just packed up his family and left just to be with his best friend. Then I met Annie who also works at that café slash book store. That's were peeta met her. Then I met Finn who peeta met through Annie, Finn and Annie are dating. Finn is one sarcastic, cocky bastard but I quickly realize he is also kind and caring as he pulls peeta aside to talk to him and gives him a big hug. Then I meet thresh who is a 6' foot tall ball of kindness. He seems to be soft spoken. Then there's jo… now she is a character. She's basically this bad ass fire ball who has a bitchy exterior but peeta assures me once I get to know her, shes a real softy.

After I'm done greeting everyone we all sit down just in time for whatever it is we are doing. Its pitch black outside and if it weren't for the fake candles they through around out area, we wouldn't have been able to see anything. Peeta pulls me so close I might as well be in his lap, but I don't think he realizes.

And I honestly don't mind.

"What do you think of my friends?" he asks nervously.

"They are all amazing and I think I love them" I say truthfully.

"Shhh, katniss the its starting." He says jokingly and I scoff. "asshole." I mutter under my breath.

"HEY! I heard that." We giggle softly after a couple of people behind us shush us. Its then that I see a white screen being rolled down from the trees. _Oh its one of those outdoor movie things._

"thank you for bringing me peeta…thank for everything, for today." I smile at him gratefully.

"thank you katniss, for coming with me to these places and trusting me. I really enjoyed my day with you." He gives me a big strong bear hug. When we let go he kisses my hair caringly and wraps us up in the blanket and we enjoy the rest of our night.

Though I may not have known peeta for very long, I know that I want to be there for him when times are bad and when he's at his happiest. I know I want to have some kind of relationship with this boy whether its friendship or more. It may just be the sleepiness talking but right now, in this moment, I know what I want and that's peeta in whatever way he'll let me have him.


	3. Chapter 3

I have been thinking about my dad lately.

I've been spiraling down again. Down into the dark pit of lies and regret and pain and loss and guilt that I had climbed free of long ago.

Or atleast I thought I did.

_I can't get out of bed. I can't eat. I can't talk. I can't see. Can't hear._

_How could I? Why would I?_

_Prim and mom. They tell me I need to stop this. That It wasn't my fault. That no one blames me. _

A tear falls from my eyes.

_But that's not true. I blame me._

_I put him in that car. I made him leave. I distracted him. I'm just as much a killer as the driver who crashed his car._

A blinding light pierces my eyes in my pitch black room.

"katniss?" prim calls softly. _I killed her father._

"katniss, mom made you some soup. You haven't eaten in two days" _I killed her husband._

_I killed a man. I took a life. I have no right to be here. He should be alive. Not me. I should be in that grave._

Prim walks over to my bed and sit next to me and leans her head back on the headboard.

_It's my fault. I'm a burden to them. They hate me. They lied to her. They told her I'm innocent._

"You can't keep doing this to yourself katniss. It hurts me. It hurts you. It hurts mom… It hurts peeta."

Peeta. I haven't seen peeta in two days. It's been about two weeks since I've become friends with him. Two weeks in and I'm already hurting him. I'm a monster. All I do is scar. Hurt. Scare.

I guess she had mistaken the spark in my eyes as a good thing because her eyes light up just the slightest. "he wants to see you, you know… he's worried. He's been coming basically every hour for updates. I guess he understands that you're dangerous when your depression comes full force." She sees the small amount of surprise in my otherwise emotionless face. "I know you think about death, katniss. I know that when you get like this you're suicidal. It's not like it's a secret. At the rate you're going with the whole not eating or drinking or moving…" she swallows thickly. Keeping the tears in. "you're killing yourself katniss."

_Good_

"You have to stop. You and mom are all I have left and mom still isn't as she was before. You're all I have. If I lost you…" she trails off. Tears start to fall from her eyes.

I slowly try to push myself into a sitting position. After a couple unsuccessful tries; I finally manage to lean against the headboard with prim. She looks at me, hopeful.

"im sorry" I whisper.

Then I put my head in my hands and the tears fall "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I repeat over and over again that I am sorry. I pull on my hair trying to focus on the physical pain rather than all the emotions bubbling up at once. When I flick my eyes in prim's direction I see the fear in her eyes.

My head starts pounding and my breathing grows heavy. I run to the bathroom to pull off my sweat soaked clothes. I slide against the wall.

"Make it stop! Please!" I scream. My head feels like there are a thousand needles being stabbed into it. It feels like someone in repeatedly slamming my head into concrete

_I smell the smoke._

The rooms spinning and I can't stop crying. My head is still being slammed into concrete. I'm running out of air.

"It hurts! Stop it! Please!" I yell. I can't stop shaking.

_I see the cars collide._

"It's all my fault. I killed him." I say softly, still sobbing. I feel like I'm dying.

_I smell metal and burning rubber._

I lie down on the floor clutching my chest, unable to breathe. Not a second later; a woman comes into the bathroom and pulls me into a sitting position. Shes saying things, I know because her mouth is moving. But I don't hear anything. The pain is too much.

"Please just make it stop. I need it to stop..." My chest hurts. My heart is beating too fast. I'm dying.

_I see black._

Her words make it back to me. But when they do they make my head feel like its being ripped apart.

"Stay with me katniss" I think the woman is my mom. It sounds like her-

_Nothing._

* * *

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

I'm woken by someone brushing hair from my forehead and distant voices. I try to open my eyes but its turns to be a difficult task. My head hurts and so do my joints.

Once I am finally able to open my eyes I see prim, the person I felt brushing hair from my face. She tilts her head to the side like a confused puppy; her eyes look at me lovingly.

"Hey there…gave us quite a scare." She looks sad. Tired. I close my eyes for a second. I breathe in through my mouth and out my nose. When I open my eyes tears start to surface. I can't keep doing this.

"What happened?" prim opens her mouth to explain but the doctor beats her to the punch.

"You had a severe panic attack, . Your mother sedated you so you could calm down but you had already blacked out. You have been out for two days. We thought maybe you hit yourself in the head but you were seemingly unharmed." I look around the room ignoring what he had to say. All I wanted to know was what happened to me.

"…you can leave today if you'd like. You are free to go." I nod softly and mutter that I would like to leave. Everyone nods and the doctor leaves.

"I brought you a big sweater, its cold. Oh and you have visitors downstairs." My mother smiles softly. I slip my arms through the sweater slowly and walk towards the door. Then I realize I don't really know my way around this hospital so I wait for my mom and prim.

When they catch up with me they lead me to the waiting room so I can see my visitors and so that they can go sign me out.

When I walk into the waiting room I see everyone. Annie, finnick, jo, Madge, gale, delly.

everyone

Everyone but him.

The first one to get up to hug me is Annie. When she lets go I look at everyone's expressions. All that stares back at me is concern and sadness. I look down and sway slightly. I feel awkward and embarrassed.

After everyone gives me comforting hugs I ask them where peeta is.

"We told him to go home and clean up. Maybe nap. He has been sitting in these chairs, not sleeping, for two days. He didn't want to leave but we forced him" Madge speaks up. She walks towards me and takes my hand in both of hers and brings them close to her mouth. Out of all of peeta's friends that I have befriended, Madge has been the one I have gotten closest to.

"You should go see him, katniss. He hasn't seen you in four days and when he finally gets to, he see you in a hospital bed. Unconscious. You know…he may not have told you but he's gone through stuff like this. Maybe not this exactly, but some of what you're feeling. He won't judge." I give her the closest thing I can to a smile and hug her.

Mother comes up behind me and puts a hand on my shoulder while prim latches on to my waist and we leave the hospital.

* * *

When I get home I kiss prim on the forehead and climb up the stairs slowly. I go up into the room and sit on my bed. I look around at the bareness of my room.

I feel alone. Cold.

I get up and walk to my iPod player and play Spanish Sahara by foals. I twirl around in my empty room, tears falling down my face. I'm not even sad. I'm…empty. I feel nothing.

When the song ends, I look towards my window and see dust floating around in the orangeish pinkish light. I walk towards my iPod playing and put on fix you by Coldplay then walk over to the window. I raise my hand and run it through the dust. I unlock the window and climb up onto the roof. i stand up on the edge and raise my arms. The wind blows through my hair and my clothes. When I look out to the ocean I see pinkish lights reflecting off the water and smile.

_If I jumped off this roof I'd probably die._

Tears fall from my eyes and I start to laugh really loud. Then I start sobbing and fall to my knees, still on the edge, and clutch my chest.

"You really are crazy" I look down to peeta's room/attic to see him staring at with a small sad smile.

Then I'm laughing again.

But this time it's with reason. I wipe at my tears and give him my first genuine smile in four days.

"I'll see you tomorrow…" I look down and sway side to side. When I look up, peeta is gone.

I crawl back into my room and sprawl myself across the floor and listen to the music.

I hate being depressed. It turns your heart black and burns out your light. Depression isn't just sadness. It's worse.

Depression is insanity. Depression is regret. Depression is loss. Depression is guilt. Depression is a hunger for happiness. Depression is anger. Depression is self loathing. Depression is emptiness.

Depression leads you down a dark road. A dark road filled with insanity and mental illnesses and suicidal thoughts.

Depression is a dark hole you get trapped in. you get trapped in it for days as it rains and the water builds up and you drown. You drown in the raining guilt and anger and sadness and hate and loss and regret. You try to swim to the surface but they pull you down. You can't breathe. When you do, depression fills your lungs and sinks into your veins.

I could give you a thousand more metaphors for depression but that's all I have up my sleeve for the day.

"I don't want to think about it now…"

I start to whisper-sing to my brain. Because honestly I need to stop these dark thoughts.

"I don't want to think about it now…

This is all

In my head

I don't want to think about it know.

I don't want to think about it now

It's dark in my imagination

It's dark in my imagination…"

I keep repeating it over and over again.

_Stopitstopitstopitstopitstopitstopit stop it get out of my head! Stop!_

I press the heel of my hands into my temples and squeeze my eyes shut.

"Bad timing?" I squeal loudly and sit up forcefully. "Shit peeta."

I look at him sitting on the edge of my window. I look past him to see that it is pitch black out.

"No…no your fine. Why…What're you…hi" I stutter. He laughs softly and waves at me.

"Well come in I guess. You could be a nice distraction" He climbs in and shuts the window. "Oh, really? How so?" he wiggles his eyebrows. I blush and throw a playful scowl at him.

"No, perv…" it grows quiet. So I just look at him. He looks terrible. He has dark bags under his sad, cold eyes. His eyes look slightly red and puffy.

"How have you been?" he asks me. I look around my room. "Like a million dollars, babe" I smirk. He rolls his eyes and sits on the bed; across from me on the floor.

"How have you been?" I ask him. He sighs and great sadness takes over his features. He looks down and shivers.

"I missed you… a lot." A chill runs down my spine and I shake my head slightly.

"I've been writing this song… it was before all of this happened, obviously… but I was…I was growing sad at the time." He nods and looks down.

"And I've wanted to show it to someone. But if I show it to my mother she'll be convinced that I'm spiraling down again and if I showed it to prim… well it'd hurt her if I showed any sign of pain… so I was wondering… if you'd like to hear it? I mean- it's not really dark but I was sad…and you know…"

He smiles at me and nods. He sits Indian style and folds his hands in his lap. I get up to grab my guitar and sit back on the floor.

I take a deep breath

Haven't you seen me sleepwalking,  
'Cause I've been holding your hand  
Haven't you noticed me drifting  
Oh let me tell you I am

Tell me it's nothing  
Try to convince me  
That I'm not drowning  
Ooh let me tell you I am

Please, please tell me you know  
I've got to let you know  
I can't help falling  
into the darkness, ooh

Why I am feeling so guilty  
Why I am holding my breath  
I'm worried 'bout everyone but me  
And I just keep losing myself

Tell me it's nothing  
And try to convince me  
That I'm not drowning  
Oh let me tell you I am

Please, please tell me you know  
I've got to let you go  
I can't help falling into the darkness

Oh, won't you read my mind  
Don't you let me lie here  
And die here

Oh, please, please tell me you know  
I've got to let you know  
I can't help falling

into the darkness

oh  
Haven't you noticed  
I'm sleepwalking

When I finish I take a sharp intake of breath from the look peeta is giving me. I flash a ghost of a smile.

"What did you think?" I ask softly. He stares me straight in the eyes and slowly crawls towards me. once he reaches me, he sits on his legs right in front of me. I put the guitar to the side and look into his eyes. There is a foreign intensity and seriousness in his expression. Determination as well. I stuck in my bottom lip and bite it softly. My skin is burning with need, a desire for his touch.

I want to feel something.

I want him to kiss me

He slowly leans in then stops halfway. A smirk blooms on his face, which confuses me. Then he gathers me in his arms and I let out a quiet scream. He lays me down on my bed and I laugh for a second, but I stop short when I see the position we are in. I'm lying on the bed and he is hovering over me.

I softly grip his chin with my thumb and index finger and pull his face down. I stop once his lips are grazing mine so I can revel in the feel of his soft lips. Then he does something I was not expecting. He started sing a song I knew against my lips softly.

"_I've got this friend  
I don't think you know him  
He's not much for words  
He's hid in his hardened way_

Oh I've got this friend  
A loveless romantic  
All that he really wants  
Is someone to want him back

Ohh, if the right one came  
If the right one came along  
Ohh, If the right one came, along"

The thing is… this song kind of represents us. Well, except for the 'not much for words part'. All that bastard does is talk.

I laugh to myself then I play along and sing.

"_I've got this friend  
I don't think you know her  
She sings a simple song  
It sounds a lot like his_

Oh I've got this friend  
Holding onto her heart  
Like it's a little secret  
Like it's all she's got to give

Ohh, if the right one came  
If the right one came along  
Ohh, if the right one came, along"

We start to laugh quietly against each other's lips. When we stop I push peeta off me playfully and straddle him. He places his hands on my hips and I lean over to kiss his cheek then his nose then his chin then his forehead.

"Stop being such a tease and just kiss me" there is a hint of vulnerability and desperation in his voice.

I just shake my head and smile.

"I don't kiss on the first date, never mind before the first date." I smirk. He groans and smiles at me.

"katniss everdeen, I would be honored if you went on a date with me tomorrow night." I stick my tongue out at him.

"Why, peeta. I would love to go on a date with you tomorrow night." I stop short when I realize something.

"peeta… I've known you for two weeks already and I have yet to know you're last name." he looks down and I see him cringe for .5 seconds.

"mellark… my name is peeta mellark." He seems to be expecting some kind of reaction out of me.

"Good. So now, when I get mad at you, I can call you by your last name." he seems relieved for some odd reason.

"I really like you katniss." he sits up with me on his lap and hugs me. he kisses my neck and hair which comforts me.

"I really like you too peeta." when he pulls away I give him a big smile. Then he leans in to kiss me quickly but I turn my face. I wiggle my finger at him.

"nope." Then I point out my window.

* * *

I walk down the stairs slowly so that can eat breakfast with prim and mom for the first time in awhile. When they see me they quickly stop their chattering. They look surprised. I mean, I can understand. Just yesterday, wasn't I in a hospital bed?

"Good morning, katniss" I smile softly at them.

I walk over to the kitchen island and look around. It's the first time in awhile since I have been downstairs and it seems they have unpacked the rest of the house.

"Sorry I couldn't help unpacking boxes." I look down and frown.

"No its fine, really. We wanted you to come home to…well…a home. Besides, peeta helped." I smile softly at the mention of peeta, remembering last night. Remember I have a date today.

"You seem…better? How do you feel?" I breathe in deeply and breathe out. I feel… content.

"I'm up and out of bed and I'm talking." I smile at them and their candle is relit.

"Well then. This calls for blueberry French toast and hot chocolate." Prim says. I walk over to them slowly and give them long hugs. "I'm sorry" I whisper as I hold them both in my arms.

_I'm sorry I killed him. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough. I'm sorry I scared you. I'm sorry._

**Stop.**

"I think maybe I should go outside for a walk around… It's time to get out of this house for awhile." I laugh softly. They nod. "But what about breakfast, katniss?"

"I'll just eat out. Do you want to come with me? I might go with peeta." prim smiles and runs upstairs to go get changed. I look to mom and realize that she's going to be alone.

"I spoke to peeta for awhile yesterday… we started talking about his dad and he mentioned something about his dad not being very social. Peeta says he is a shy man, maybe you should invite yourself over or ask him if he wants to go out for coffee." She smiles and shakes her head.

"Okay, I'll ask." I clap my hands once and run upstairs so I can change.

When I get to my room I slip on a vintage black skirt with a repetitive floral print and button down the front. I tuck in a large crème shirt then I slip on an oversized knit tan sweater. Then I slip on by distressed brown combat boots.

"prim! are you ready?" I call.

"yeah." I jump when I turn around and see prim.

"prim, crap…" I grasp my chest willing my heart to slow down. When I calm myself, I look to see what prim is wearing. She's wearing a mid sleeve, white and red sweater, light wash skinny jeans, and brown oxfords.

I give prim the thumbs up and we leave.

* * *

"I swear to god, peeta. if you pinch my side one more time I will throttle you." I threaten. We've been walking for about fifteen minutes and throughout those fifteen minutes; He has insisted on tickling me.

"You're just so funny when you do the noodle thing with your body when you're tickled." I backhand his arm and he just laughs.

"Damn, everdeen." He mutters as he rubs the spot where I hit him. He runs at me and lifts me over his shoulder. I scream and hit his back.

"PEETA! No!" I can't stop laughing. I flail around for a second then give up when I realize it's fruitless.

"You guys are adorable. It's a wonder you guys aren't going out yet." Prim gushes under her breath.

I blush and peeta speaks up. "Actually, your sister and I have a date tonight." he puts me down and smirks at me.

"When did you ask her? She was…an odd ball yesterday." I laugh.

"Well. I asked her when I saw her on the roof watching the sunset." He lies smoothly.

"Oh look, WE ARE HERE!" I yell when we approach the coffee shot slash bookstore. I run my fingers along the brick wall and walk in. I'm greeted by the smell of crescents and cinnamon buns.

"I'm going to go look at the books. I already ate this morning, you guys go ahead." Prim says as she walks toward the back of the room.

"Hi, katniss" I hear two voices shout. I turn back to the counter and see Annie and Madge serving customers.

"Hey, guys." I smile.

"So... a little bird told us you are going on a date with peeta..." they cup their hands over their mouths and raise their eyebrows and I laugh.

"That bastard." I mutter. Madge pumps her fist in the air and annie does a little happy dance.

"Has he told you yet?" she looks worried.

"Tell me what? What is it that everyone is keeping from me? Even prim has been acting weird..." agitation is evident in my tone.

"It's not our place to tell...but promise us that when he does...you'll think before you say." Annie says.

They look so serious right now I almost salute them.

"Okay...yeah, okay. I promise." I just have to trust that peeta will tell me whatever it is that he's keeping from me. "anywho, what would you like fellow costumer?" I tap my chin and hum.

"I would like some hot chocolate and a cookie. I'm having a craving for chocolate today." They smirk.

"Is it that time of mo-" I cut Madge off. "Nope! Just want some chocolate today, thank you." they giggle and then pass me a cookie. "Your hot chocolate will be ready in a few." I nod my thanks and sit on one of the bed-chair things in the corner. I sit criss cross and pull one of the pillow on my lap and lean my elbows on it.

I look next to me at the book on the wall then randomly pull one out and start reading. I bite into my cookie and moan. They seriously have the best cookies in the world. They just met in your mouth.

Rory, the only reason prim comes here other than the books, comes up to me and hand me a mug of hot chocolate. "morning, katniss." I nod and smile.

"morning, rory. My sisters in the back if you want to speak with her." He smiles and walks to the back of the room.

I sip my hot chocolate and bite my cookie.

"You're going to get diabetes from those cookies. The only reason they are so good is because of the shit ton of sugar they put into one cookie ball. Just watching you eat that monstrosity makes me want to vom." I turn to look at peeta pointing to the back of his throat and making gagging noises.

I start laughing really hard because-"did you just say vom? Who the hell...why" for some reason him saying vom makes me laugh hysterically.

"Hey, don't laugh at me. It's a British term." He scowls and sticks out his tongue. We really are a bunch of 5 year olds.

* * *

We stayed at the coffee slash book store for a few more hours until we decided to go home. Its date night and I have yet to choose an outfit. Peeta hasn't told me where we are going so I find it difficult to pick something to wear.

"PRIM! Come help me choose something to wear. I'm getting flustered up here." I call.

I hear the latch open and prim climbs up to my room. She walks over to my clothing rack (since I don't have a closet) and works her 'magic'. It only takes her 5 minutes to pull together a nice outfit.

I give prim a high five and kick her out so I can get dressed.

I slip on a white, lace, low v-neck maxi dress and pull on a Persian sweater. I put on a dandelion and daisy head wreath. Then I put on brown sandals because you can't even see my feet.

I go to my vanity and put on mascara and dark wine colored lipstick. I dab some off so it's not so bold.

I climb down my ladder and walk to prim's room so I can show her the outfit.

"Prim, come look. I need your approval." I rub my hand down my dress as if to smooth down wrinkles.

"Well of course I'm going to approve, I picked it out." Her voice is muffled by the wall. When she walks out her door she sees me and stops short.

"You're kinda hot." I laugh. "Thanks?" she walk up to me and straitens me up.

"katniss, you need to take this damn braid out."

"prim, language"

"okay mom"

"shut up." She un-braids my hair, fixes my flower wreath, and smiles.

"You have such beautiful long hair. I don't know why you put it in that braid."

"Hey! I happen to love my braid thank you very much." She rolls her eyes.

"katniss! Peeta is here" mom calls from downstairs.

"haavvvee fuuuun" prim sings and walks back into her room.

As I walk down the stairs I start wonder where the hell we are going. It's a small town, not really much to do here. Then again, peeta has shown me a bunch of places I would have never thought of.

When I reach the door I see peeta and my mother talking. I clear my throat loudly and smile when i catch his eye. I see his adams apple bob up and down as he swallows thickly.

"Hi peeta." I wave in his direction. He smiles slowly and waves back.

"Okay, well peeta i want her home by 11:00. You hear me?" she gives him a pointed look and I chuckle.

She smiles and kisses my forehead. "remember. Us everdeens dont kiss on the first night. We tease them" she winks at me.

Oh boy. Im going to have alot of fun.

* * *

**Holy crap, I'm so sorry for the wait. I had to study for finals then i had to do my finals and it was just crazy. I promise ill update really soon and i promise the date'll be in the next chapter. I'm going to be making a schedule for when I will be posting. Anywho, review please and i hope you enjoyed. **


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